Tuesday, April 20, 2004

i'm in new york 

and i love it - i'd forgotten how energising this city is. I'm staying at the gershwin hotel if anyone needs me (they have website and all - i dont think this is too much info for stalkers seeing as you'd have to know my name to get me room number.) at the moment i'm sharing a bunk bed with a male model called joshua - he is on top of course. he's quite sweet but not my type; all he seems to do is watch sports tv and holler down his cell phone. and spend a very long time in the bathroom. i'm reminded about how true beauty isnt the kind that makes its way into magazines and jeans commercials. (this is of course standard ugly persons philosophy - like all the nonsense about scars shaping us and personality being what counts) One of the biggest lessons i've been learning on this trip has been about the body - its fraility and preciousness. i've been running on instinct a lot, its served me pretty well but its strange how when i got on the train i didn't have the slightest inkling - i was sorry to leave daisy but no more so than other friends in other cities - i had been sitting in the lounge car watching mississippi go by, thinking how magnificently green it is - really lush, vivid, quite amazing. when we crossed the swamp i saw something and wondered if it really was an alligator or just a trick of the light, and then idly i pondered how i could turn all the ideas in my head into a way of making a living - this and how crap the film was, full of stereotypical romantic nonsense, that's what i was thinking of when everything quite literally turned upside down.


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