Tuesday, January 27, 2004

fear of flying 

Um… almost scared to tempt fate by sharing this, but as some of you know I have been really terrified of flying and tend to get myself worked about in a ridiculous tizzy about it. Curiously, I made it over here in a calm and orderly fashion with out a single serious panic attack. I’m even planning on flying to Seattle (my next port of call) because it seems silly not to: it’s so much cheaper and quicker than the train. There was actually a point on the journey when I looked out of the window, we were flying over Wisconsin I think, and I found myself so transfixed by how pretty everything was I totally forgot to be afraid. Previously I only ever looked out of the window to reassure myself we were still moving. I even walked about a bit (just as well because I couldn’t have gone the distance without a pee)

I put my new found confidence down to a few things: Firstly my stubbornness that I was bloody well going to do this trip whatever; secondly I’ve been practising Chi Gong and meditating in a fashion pretty regularly; thirdly I read St Julian over Christmas and I found her words chimed in somewhere. I’ve also been taking a certain comfort in statistics, thus far without a counter fear about getting in a car… Fourth, and finally, and most importantly, I’ve been taking arg. Nit. I don’t suppose you can OD on homeopathic remedies because there's not really anything to take too much of, but if there was a blood test I’m sure I’d have been over the limit having taken heroic quantities of the stuff. Of course, after such a smooth (and to be honest boring) journey something had to go wrong. Immigration was a nightmare; I’ve had my visa revoked and have to leave the country by May 14th. Still, at least that gives me 4 months and may force me to be at least a little bit organised.


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